Ever wanted to know what people think of you as you swan round the neighbourhood with a chihuahua in hand? Ever watched someone being dragged about by a dog the size of a horse and wondered what that person is really like? Ever wondered what kind of people are able to live in harmony alongside cattle dogs containing more energy than the earth’s sun?

Well ponder no more, because contained in this handy guide is a foolproof analysis of the world’s top breeds and what we can infer about their owners. Because, like us humans, dogs come in all different shapes, sizes and dispositions – from pitbulls and pomeranians to weimaraner and weird little ones without names. Whatever pooch you choose to feed, love and pick up the poop of, speaks volumes about what makes you tick.